Chapter 20. Of confession of our infirmity and of the miseries of this life (Book 3. On Inward Consolation as a Gift of God) (The Imitation of Christ) (a-Kempis, Thomas)

1. I will acknowledge my sin to You; I will confess to You, Lord, my infirmity. It is often a small thing which casts me down and maks me sad. I resolve that I will act bravely, but when a little temptation comes, immediately I am in a great strait. Wonderfully small sometimes is the matter whence a grievous temptation comes, and whilst I imagine myself safe for a little space; when I am not considering, I find myself often almost overcome by a little puff of wind.

2. Behold, therefore, O Lord, my humility and my frailty, which is altogether known to You. Be merciful to me, and draw me out of the mire that I sink not, in case I ever remain cast down. This is what frequently throws me backward and confounds me before You, that I am so liable to fall, so weak to resist my passions. And though their assault is not altogether according to my will, it is violent and grievous, and it altogether wearies me to live so daily in conflict. Herein is my infirmity made known to me, that hateful fancies always rush in far more easily than they depart.

3. Oh that You, most mighty God of Israel, Lover of all faithful souls, would look upon the labour and sorrow of Your servant, and give him help in all things whereunto he strives. Strengthen me with heavenly fortitude, in case the old man, this miserable flesh, not being yet fully subdued to the spirit, prevail to rule over me; against which I ought to strive so long as I remain in this most miserable life. Oh what a life is this, where tribulations and miseries cease not, where all things are full of snares and of enemies, for when one tribulation or temptation goes, another comes, yea, while the former conflict is yet raging others come more in number and unexpected.

4. And how can the life of man be loved, seeing that it has so many bitter things, that it is subjected to so many calamities and miseries. How can it be even called life, when it produces so many deaths and plagues? The world is often reproached because it is deceitful and vain, yet notwithstanding it is not easily given up, because the lusts of the flesh have too much rule over it. Some draw us to love, some to hate. The lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, these draw to love of the world; but the punishments and miseries which righteously follow these things, bring forth hatred of the world and weariness.

5. But, alas! an evil desire conquers a mind given to the world, and thinks it happiness to be under the nettles because it savours not nor perceivs the sweetness of God nor the inward gracefulness of virtue. But they who perfectly despise the world and strive to live to God in holy discipline, these are not ignorant of the divine sweetness promised to all who truly deny themselves and see clearly how grievously the world errs, and in how many ways it is deceived.

Psalm xxxii. 5. Psalm lix. 16. Job xxx. 7.